


fallingforyou

by celerysticks44



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5SOS - Freeform, F/M, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, lashton heartbreak
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 02:13:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29619021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celerysticks44/pseuds/celerysticks44
Summary: ashton couldn't hold it against luke. that didn't mean it didn't hurt. (to the lyrics of the 1975’s fallingforyou)+ story on wattpad with a slight different format
Relationships: Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin, Michael Clifford/Calum Hood, Sierra Deaton/Luke Hemmings





	1. Chapter 1

"what time you coming out?" luke asked his friend over the phone as he tied his worn out laces. on the other side of the line, ashton had his best friend on speaker as he adjusted his leather belt. "maybe at like five.. you know how my mom feels about me driving," he pauses momentarily and snaps, "shoot, i forgot about michael and calum, i told them i would hang with them today."

luke jokingly said, "aren't they too busy sucking each other's dicks to notice you aren't there?" ashton nervously chuckled at his rhetorical question. he would have been lying if he said it didn't hurt him at least a little. he hoped his friends would notice or care if he was gone. another reason it had felt like an attack was because ashton didn't know if he was homophobic.

luke had never said anything good about gay people even though he had also never said anything bad. he avoided the topic with ashton entirely anytime it was brought up. it made luke feel very uncomfortable.

ashton understood that, for a lot of his life he'd been called gay by other guys his age. the word just ticks luke off, as he considered himself straight and in love with women. he wasn't gay. 

and being called gay was fucking humiliating for him. 

which was ironic, as he had just accused his friends of being gay, however mentally he brushed it off as a joke between friends. the subject was immediately dropped as usual, creating an awkwardly silent environment. "maybe they could come along," luke suggested.

luke couldn't see, but ashton's smile dropped and his voice subtly became flat. "of course.. if that's what you want.."

all ashton ever wanted was for luke to feel happy, even at his expense. although ashton craved that special one-on-one time with him, he would never explicitly say or enforce that. he would never straight up tell luke how insane he made him feel. how on some days he smiled at his name, and others cried. how so many words and emotions would flow into ashton's overwhelmed heart at the thought of the blonde. words he would never dare to write down. that would make it real.

he fell hard for luke, but luke didn't know that. he didn't need to know that, but ashton wanted him to know that. and he wanted him to know that soon.

but how could he? saying the truth would jeopardize everything. luke would stop massaging ashton's hair and body after hard and long games. he'd stop wrapping his long arms around ashton's waist and congratulating him (even when he lost). he would stop coming to watch and support him. he would feel awkward listening to his family issues. he would lose a friend.

ashton was so lovestruck, and those small actions in luke's eyes were magnified in ashton's.

if you're lucky, you've felt love before. you've felt how love overtakes your body and controls what you do. you've felt religion, how your body becomes theirs. hell, you might've even thought they knew you better than you did yourself. 

and if you've felt love, then you've felt hurt.

you've felt the ache of unrequited love. the ache in your chest when you're going to sleep, but just can't. the ache of giving someone your all and receiving nothing. the ache of somebody being your number one but you not even being in their top ten.

often, that's how ashton felt. and his feelings for the same gender didn't make it any easier on him. gay, bi, pan, whatever he was, heartbreak continued to play around with him like a little doll.

"where do you wanna go?" luke asked. ashton bit his lip indecisively. his mind was cluttered with feelings he had yet to sort. he replied, "i don't know.."

because luke was oblivious and naive, he didn't catch onto ashton's sudden change of mood. he never did. he just continued talking like normal, "that's alright we don't need to go anywhere. all we need for the night is my bike and your enormous house." ashton half heartedly agreed, as the slave for luke he was. "but i thought i was going to go to you?" he raised an eyebrow. "silly if we can just come to you then we will. none of your terrible driving skills required."

"okay," he huffed, "i trust you'll tell malum?" luke laughed at his phone, "what the fuck is a malum?"

"it's michael and calum's name made simpler and easier," ashton clarified.

luke replied softly, "oh." the end of the call was approaching and luke took it upon himself to finish it. "i'll see you later then ash. love you."

ashton paused for a moment. "love you too," he confirmed. his heart sunk at the last two words luke said. it was a friendly gesture directed towards a guy who didn't want to just be friends. they were meant to make him feel good but they hurt so much.

he figured he had a little time to himself to think before the rest would arrive and make a mess. if this time would be like any other time, they'd get drunk, act stupid, and regret it in the morning. he wondered about himself getting drunk. his feelings were growing stronger, and with the meals ashton began to skip, he knew he would get drunk quickly. would he accidentally confess? would he even mind if he confessed? what would happen? though, deep down he knew what would happen. luke wouldn't feel the same, he'd let him down softly and never speak to him again. that's just who he was.

and for now, all he had was time to think.


	2. Chapter 2

"i know what," calum slurred with his body stretched on ashton's couch. he had caught the rest of the boys' attention. "what?" luke asked his drunk friend. unlike the rest, luke was for the most part sober, at the very least tipsy. calum smirked, "truth or dare"

michael groaned at the suggestion, "seriously? that's such a cliche thing to do.. have ashton buy you some originality i swear to god." calum frowned at his crazy-colored friend, who was laid next to him as well. luke and ashton were the only ones sitting appropriately, or at least as just friends would.

"i'm not gonna buy calum originality," ashton rolled his eyes at michael. he whined, "but why you could totally afford it." 

ashton's family was fairly wealthy, hereditarily. as far as he knows, his great grandfather invented something somewhat important and got himself millions of dollars in exchange. they lived more than comfortably, yet humbly. his parents didn't brag with name-brand clothing, nor allowed ashton to do so. he wasn't interested in doing so either. however, his parents only let him eat organic and vegan food which all of his friends hated. michael for a while even speculated cult behavior when ashton refused a slice of pepperoni pizza.

"how about a joke?" luke offered the three men. the first to perk up and nod was ashton, obviously. he smiled, "sure."

luke began, "what do you call a man with rubber toes?" calum and ashton both replied in unison, "what?" as michael replied, "ugly." everyone eyed at michael annoyingly. he raised his hands in the air defending himself saying, "rubber toes sound disgusting don't pretend like i told you we live on the moon."

"fine, but what is it?" calum brought the friend group back on focus. "roberto," luke chuckled. ashton laughed while calum's mouth dropped. "are you serious? we can't play truth or dare but luke can tell dad jokes? your bias is showing," calum scoffed with a pout on his face. he crossed his arms and faced towards a pillow. michael tried to pull him away from the pillow but he refused. "little miss diva, we can play truth or dare if you want."

"no. it's too late to make it up to me," he continued to pout. as michael tried to make his friend stop the stubborn act, ashton was still laughing. at first it had been laughter from the cheesy joke, later transitioning to thinking about how much his life and his feelings were one. from there it spiraled into flat out bawling and rest of the boys observed confusedly from a distance. they had no idea how to deal with this. 

luke took it upon himself to handle the situation as usual, "ashton want to go outside for a little? alone?"

ashton nodded as best as he could. he tripped a little standing up but luke grabbed his arm. it hadn't been the first time luke had to do things like this, in fact it was kind of normal. in his pocket, his phone buzzed.

sierra d  
hey luke wyd

the simple little message sent butterflies roaming around his stomach wild. the latest class drama he'd heard was that sierra and her boyfriend were on the verge of a breakup. he had hoped it was true. he had a small stupid crush on her. luke replied.

luke  
nothing important  
just hanging with friends

sierra d  
cool. got an extra seat?

luke could've died right then and there. the sierra deaton wanted to hang out with him. he felt like he was on a cloud, until he was reminded how his best friend was crying in his arms and his other friends were drunk out of their minds. of course they would ruin this for him. if sierra came, they'd embarrass him to no end.

luke  
i would love that but..  
not today, friends are a drunk mess  
rain check?

sierra d  
rain check. counting on you to text back for that x

luke  
oh i will x

the moment felt so euphoric and he felt like leaping around like a ballerina. he could've sworn his eyes were now carved into heart shapes. and for a moment that was all, until a thump brought him back into reality.

ashton had fallen out of his arms and was now kneeling on the floor. he rolled around for a bit like an idiot before going right back into laughing. luke knew he was drunk, but ashton had never acted like this before. he raised an eyebrow and asked, "ashton? what's so funny?" 

the older friend continued to laugh, "you don't get it and it's fucking hilarious." he only confused the blonde boy further. "don't get what?"

"how madly in love with you i am," ashton giggled. "i'm so obvious and you're so oblivious." he laughed and pointed it out like luke had ketchup on his shirt, not like he had confessed his buried feelings for his best friend. 

luke on the other hand, looked like he'd seen a ghost. his face turned pale and he dropped his phone. he didn't even care if it cracked. he was just frozen still. ashton continued to laugh, and all luke was able to do was stare blankly into the moonlight.

needless to say, sierra was now the last thing on his mind.


End file.
